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Thoughts & Tips for the Day 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:21 am Reply with quote
Mark Jones
Joined: 14 Jun 2005
Posts: 3552
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

9. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

10. Remember: - Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

11. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

12. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

13. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:36 pm Reply with quote
Michelle & Phil
Joined: 10 Jan 2005
Posts: 579
Location: Torquay
That really made us chuckle. Especially the Duct tape. That fixes everything. At the moment it is saving our vacuum from the tip (and the shower) and if you put it on the bottom of an inflatable toy, you can then tie it to the back of a car and ride it all the way round a field without it popping!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:40 pm Reply with quote
Steve from Durham
Site Admin
Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 6096
Location: Lancashire.
Michelle & Phil wrote:
That really made us chuckle. Especially the Duct tape. That fixes everything. At the moment it is saving our vacuum from the tip (and the shower) and if you put it on the bottom of an inflatable toy, you can then tie it to the back of a car and ride it all the way round a field without it popping!



No wonder you requested your mum's villa ...not be located next door to you both Wink


steve Very Happy
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Thoughts & Tips for the Day 
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